Planning a Memorial Service -- Five Steps

Planning a delayed memorial service rather than a funeral can take away some of the time pressure, but it still helps to have guidelines for remembering what needs to be done. The five steps included here cover the typical elements of a memorial service. Use them if they’re helpful, but also feel free to honor the person who has died by adding your own personal touches.

Step 1 – Set the Expectation
From the time of the person’s death, it’s important to set the expectation of a memorial service, especially one at a future date. In the published obituary and as people are notified personally of the death, mention there will be a memorial service rather than a formal funeral. That sets an expectation that the deceased will be honored even though a funeral won’t be held.

Step 2 – Choose the Place and Time
As you decide where and when the memorial service will be held, keep in mind the life being honored. Will you hold a sundown service on the shore of their favorite fishing lake? An intimate, family-centered memorial service might be held at a home, favorite vacation spot or at the family’s place of worship.

Another important consideration is time and date. If most of their friends are professionals, consider when they can most easily attend a service. Is there a date that had meaning to the deceased? That can add significance to the memorial. Once you’ve decided when to hold the memorial, it’s time to begin notifying others.

Step 3 – Notify Friends and Family
For a memorial service that’s held shortly after the death, publishing the date and time within the local newspaper obituary may suffice. If you decide, instead, to wait until a significant date in the future to hold the memorial, you’ll need to notify friends and family separately. Depending on the size of the person’s friendship, professional and family circles that might be most easily done with a printed announcement (see next section).

If you’ll be asking people to share stories, read poetry, provide music or bring items related to the person being remembered, this is the time to let them know. By allowing them enough time to prepare, you will help them feel more comfortable being part of this special service.

Step 4 – Choose Special Elements
What makes a memorial service most memorable is the inclusion of personal touches that reflect the life of the deceased. Photographs, videos, music, poetry and items that make other people think of the life that’s ended are perfect ways to personalize a memorial. Did her pets pay a special role in her life? Picture displays and special stories that include her beloved pets would definitely be appropriate elements at her memorial.

Did he love good wines and enjoy touring vineyards? Drink a toast to him as part of his leave-taking. Almost anything that played a significant role in the deceased’s life can be used to personalize his memorial service.

Step 5 – Choose Memorial Keepsakes
A wonderful way to keep the person who has died in the minds and hearts of others is with memorial keepsakes. Announce the impending memorial with personalized announcements that include details of the service. At the memorial service, you may want to provide such keepsakes as memorial service programs, bookmarks or prayer cards, personalized with photos, scripture or poetry. These can be printed reasonably using an online funeral program template that allows you to customize memorial keepsakes to fit your needs.

Use these steps as a starting point in planning a memorial service. Incorporate special touches that reflect the life being remembered as you plan to create a memorial that truly honors a life.